You have the date, perfect venue and design details all lined up for your wedding day. Time to plan another traditional wedding related event: the rehearsal dinner. But where to start?
Some rehearsal dinner frequently asked questions are: Who plans the rehearsal dinner? Who should be invited? What happens at this traditional event? This article will help you sort through all the planning details for a successful pre-wedding fête!
FAQ 1: Why should I host a rehearsal dinner?
Reason #1: The rehearsal dinner is a chance for your two joining families to meet and get to know each other before the wedding day. “But our families already know each other.” Fantastic! And an even better reason to come together and embrace without the worry of all the other guests in attendance.
Reason #2: People are taking time out of their day/week to come ensure your wedding ceremony is perfect. Dinner, or even just light bites, is an excellent way to say “thank you” to those taking extra time to help. This gathering is also a great opportunity to answer any additional questions people involved in the wedding may have about the following big day.
Now, do not confuse a rehearsal dinner with a welcome party. More on the differences and definitions of these two separate events below.
FAQ 2: When is the rehearsal dinner?
Traditionally the rehearsal dinner is the night/day before your wedding and takes place shortly after your wedding ceremony rehearsal. The gathering does not always have to be “dinner”, but should include at minimum some kind of tidbit or refreshment. I’ve attended formal dinners, afternoon luncheons and cocktail hours all with some form of the label “rehearsal dinner” attached.
FAQ 3: Who should be invited to the rehearsal dinner?
Being that the rehearsal dinner typically follows the ceremony rehearsal, all those involved in the wedding ceremony should be invited to the dinner. Of course the bride(s) and groom(s) will be there, that goes without saying. It is polite to extend an invitation to your officiant and their spouse, if applicable. Immediate family members (moms/dads/siblings) are also a staple of this pre-wedding event, and extended family members that are part of the ceremony (grandparents walking down the aisle, flower girl/ring bearer families, etc.) should also receive an invitation.
The wedding party, and their significant others, should be included on your guest list. Wedding party being the maid-of-honor, best man, bridesmaids, and groomsmen. There is some debate as to whether you need to offer a plus-one to your wedding party persons. As a rule of thumb, if someone is married or otherwise promised, their spouse/partner should also be invited. Address invitations specifically and request RSVPs by name if you are aiming for a specific guest count without surprise plus-ones.
To reiterate my prior statement: this is not a welcome party, it is a rehearsal dinner. If you are feeling the need to host something for everyone coming in from out of town, please scroll down to welcome party below.
FAQ 4: Who hosts the rehearsal dinner?
Let’s begin by defining the responsibilities of an event host. This role would include guest management (guest list & invitations), event management (menu planning, seating arrangements, design & style), event representation (acting as the face of the event, interacting with guests, welcoming & thanking), and in most cases, taking financial responsibility for the event.
In short, the host would run the show, welcome guests, thank them for coming, and pay for the event.
Tradition would say the groom’s parents are encouraged to host the rehearsal dinner as a gesture of welcome and gratitude to the bride’s family. Does this mean the engaged couple is involved in the planning and hosting? Maybe, but not necessarily.
Nowadays, more and more engaged couples are taking the reins and hosting their own rehearsal dinner. Be this out of financial necessity (parents are not able to contribute), or possibly the couple’s preference for a certain style, look, feel, menu selection, and desire to be hands-on with this pre-wedding event.
If the couple is planning and paying for the event themselves, they can still allow their parents to feel a part of the event and help you welcome guests. There’s no need to start your marriage with “us versus them”. Instead of choosing sides, consider starting your new future as a collective whole. And if someone wants to take credit for your wonderful rehearsal dinner, remember imitation is one of the highest forms of flattery. Simply smile knowing you are a rockstar and someone wishes they had hosted as well as you!
FAQ 5: Where should a rehearsal dinner take place?
Occasionally your wedding day venue will offer a place to host your rehearsal dinner, typically for an additional fee. This is convenient since it’s the same location as the rehearsal itself, however it’s not a requirement. Local restaurants are popular rehearsal dinner locations. For my own wedding we had the rehearsal dinner in the backyard of an AirBNB and my in-laws cooked us a wonderful feast. The options are endless!
FAQ 6: What happens at a rehearsal dinner?
Your rehearsal dinner will be centered around the meal shared with close family and friends. Upon arrival, you and your guests should take time to grab a beverage and catch up since it may be difficult to speak with everyone once you are seated. During or after the lovely meal, a few people may want to give a speech. They are often highlighted by toasts, jokes, songs, and poems about the engaged couple. The rehearsal dinner is also a great opportunity to bestow gifts to your parents and wedding party should you have any to give.
FAQ 7: What do you wear to a rehearsal dinner?
Similarly to the location of a rehearsal dinner, the formality of your event can vary. Brides could don a cocktail dress, tea length gown, jumpsuit, or summer dress, typically in a shade of white or off-white. Grooms might opt for a sport coat and slacks, or a casual button-down shirt, golf shorts and sandals if they are like my husband. Again, the options are endless!
FAQ 8: What is a welcome party and how is it different?
I am so glad you asked! As covered in detail above, the rehearsal dinner is hosted after the ceremony rehearsal and usually is a short guest list of only those involved with the ceremony. A welcome party is another pre-wedding event that is open to all wedding guests that have arrived prior to the wedding day. It serves as a great opportunity for the engaged couple to welcome everyone to the wedding festivities and catch up with guests. A welcome party helps the newlyweds keep more focus on each other during the wedding day since they already had an opportunity to chat with guests at the welcome party.
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Conclusion
I hope there is something you were able to take away from The Rehearsal Dinner: Answers to FAQs. Remember to Pin this post for when you are ready for next steps.
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What a great guide! We’ve hosted 2 for our boys & they are always so much fun!😁
Great tips! Love how your blog breaks down planning a wedding into organized steps!.
My husband and I didn’t do a rehearsal dinner and I regret it. It would have been so nice to spend time together with the families before the big day. I’ll recommend this post to my friends who are getting married soon.
You offer such fantastic tips and this list is so helpful for organizing this rehersal dinner event. I will certainly save this to share with anyone who’s getting married. Your whole blog is a treasure trove of information for couples who plan to get married. I’m super impressed and find it all very helpful!